Go With The Cloud

On the day the tabernacle, the Tent of the Testimony, was set up, the cloud covered it. From evening till morning the cloud above the tabernacle looked like fire. That is how it continued to be; the cloud covered it, and at night it looked like fire. Whenever the cloud lifted from above the Tent, the Israelites set out; wherever the cloud settled, the Israelites encamped. At the Lord's command the Israelites set out, and at his command they encamped. As long as the cloud stayed over the tabernacle, they remained in camp.

When the cloud remained over the tabernacle a long time, the Israelites obeyed the Lord's order and did not set out. Sometimes the cloud was over the tabernacle only a few days; at the Lord's command they would encamp, and then at his command they would set out. Sometimes the cloud stayed only from evening till morning, and when it lifted in the morning, they set out. Whether by day or by night, whenever the cloud lifted, they set out. Whether the cloud stayed over the tabernacle for two days or a month or a year, the Israelites would remain in camp and not set out; but when it lifted, they would set out.

At the Lord's command they encamped, and at the Lord's command they set out. They obeyed the Lord's order, in accordance with his command through Moses. Numbers 9:15-23 NIV

I've been thinking about this section of the Old Testament for a couple of weeks now. As I have thought about it I have become more and more aware of how often I say 'no' to God. I think I am saying it to others, but I am actually saying it to God. For example, when we moved back to Colorado more than ten years ago, I turned to my husband as we crossed the state line and said, "You know you're never getting me out of this state again."

I said this as an objection to the constant moving we had done our entire married life (we've moved more than 20 times.) As I figuratively put my foot down, I wasn't just talking to Steve, but I was saying to God that all this moving was over and that it was time to stay put.

Now, even once we were back in Colorado Springs we moved from one apartment into another, then into a rental house and then to the house we purchased in '99 and have lived in ever since. The moving boxes are all unpacked and thrown away. I am done.

As I read this scripture, however, I was certain that God was telling me that I had said this to Him and that he was asking me to be prepared to pull up the tent stakes if he asked me to go. So often I delude myself that I am responding to someone other than God when I stamp my foot and say "No!" or when I whine "but I want to." God is not fooled.

I also felt prompted to share this passage with someone else in regard to the direction our Women's Ministry Committee needs to go. I feel as if we have gone along doing what we think we should do, but have not really searched to see where the cloud is. Where is God leading? Is he leading or is he asking us to stay still?

As I surrendered to God's prompting and said that I would follow the cloud, a feeling of peace and contentment I cannot really describe came over me. I am so glad to so, have, for once, done the surrendering without fighting, whining or complaining.

I have no idea if there is a move in our future, it seemed more like a question of "will you surrender" rather than a confirmation of an impending move, but when you say you are willing, you gotta mean it.

But how do we know where God is leading us when there is no actual cloud to follow now? First, God will never lead us contrary to scripture. Second, we must pray. Through prayer, concentrated and constant, God talks to us, sometimes he reveals himself through a new understanding of his word, sometimes he leads by moving the circumstances.

I have a friend who was recently offered another position at double his current salary. He told me that he already makes plenty of money and wanted to know what I thought he should do. Was this a temptation or an opportunity?

It wasn't clear to me at all, as this is a man who I believe is one of the few who can manage wealth without letting it drag him from serving God, and I told him so. But sometimes I believe that we are led through our spouses and he has a wonderful wife and has godly counsel, so I just agreed to pray for him, and I have.

I am thrilled to report he has decided to turn down the position. I would have been equally thrilled had he decided to take it, as I really believe this man put the matter to prayer and was confident that he was following God's leading. That's the main thing, after all. He followed the cloud. I want to follow it too.

Goals

Been thinking about what it takes to reach my goals, and what those goals are.



One of my goals is to complete my degree(s). To do that I must start. Check. Work at my coursework. Check. Check.



One of my goals is to lose weight. Not just some weight, but to reduce considerably in size. One doctor said it wouldn't have much of an effect on the fibromyalgia, but I don't believe it. It seems as if anything that makes movement more difficult puts more strain on joints, muscles and ligaments, so anything you do to reduce that should help. I used to think that there was something wrong about surgical options, but I keep thinking about the scripture that says if your eye offends you pluck it out. I read that as "do whatever it takes to avoid sin." If you cannot control your eating habits on your own, and surgery is a viable alternative, go for it. I'm not there yet, but the whole food control is barely working. Just like the doctor said, it is nearly impossible.



Another goal is to finish the Timmy book. Unfortunately what I've written lately isn't sequential, so it doesn't fit online very well. I need to continue the story from the last point and post what I have missed. I really need to settle down and do this. I'm going to have to schedule this in, because it's too easy to let time go by.



Another goal, and the one that should be top priority is more time reading the Bible. More time in the Word. I do this, but in all honesty, not as much as I should. Why not? I think in part because it is a reminder of how far short of the mark I am. Am I gentle? Am I kind? Am I merciful? Do I visit the sick, the prisoner, the widow? Do I love God with my whole heart? Yet how will I change and become the person I want to be but am afraid to become? Only through the word. Reading it, meditating on it, putting it into practice. How else? Don't know.

I'm In Stitches

It's 2:22 am and I can't sleep. It has been a very long day, beginning with the first alarm at 5:30 am. A few hits on the snooze button later and I got up. I had a little more than half an hour to get ready for school, but it was enough, as I merely had to iron, get dressed and grab a breakfast drink. That is, until I realized that I hadn't printed out the paper I wrote the night before.

My laptop began having trouble. It is a recurrance of short in the power connection and I couldn't get the thing to stay on long enough to log on. I finally got that working only to find that my network wasn't working. Rather than work on that I quickly hooked up the spare printer with the USB connection.

This delay made me about 10 or 15 minutes late. Arrgh! First class. Second class. Then wait until office hours at 11:00 am to discuss arrangements for a test with enlarged print as my eyes are so bad right now. Then rushed off to a meeting to work on music for the upcoming women's retreat. Missed a turn and decided to go a different way and took a wrong turn there. Late for this appointment. It went well and I got a real treat watching six deer and one tiny rabbit in the back yard, not ten yards from the patio door.

Had a nice lunch with Ellen, complete with homemade applesauce. Really good! Then realized I was late for my next appointment, so I called the coffee shop where I was to meet Jennifer to ask them to let her know I hadn't ditched her. I showed up, she wasn't there. I waited, then decided that I had the time wrong. I waited for the next half hour point to pass, then the next and then the next, taking the time to write some more Timmy story.

Then off to school for a 5:15 pm viewing of my first speech. The speech itself was not bad, but I look like the before picture for an advertisement for gastric bypass surgery. Awful!

Then home for a bowl of baked potato soup and taking care of the dog. 7:00 pm Bible study with Judy. It was really good to catch up with her and talk about some stuff I've been going through. When I got home I took a quick minute to check email and there was one from Jennifer confirming our appointment on Wednesday(!).

At about 10, I decided to light the candles on the mantle and sit and watch some TV. At about 10:45 pm, I stood on the raised hearth to blow out the candles. After doing so, I stepped backward off the hearth and cut my foot on a 3-hole punch Steve left on the floor when he was doing some paperwork. (He's sure the dog moved it there. :-)) It bled a bit and I managed to get upstairs to clean it up and bandage it. Upon inspection, I decided it looked pretty bad and called Mom (my friendly local EMT) for a second opinion. She looked at it and took me to the ER where they shot me full of numbing agent before scrubbing the wound and putting in six stitches. They followed that with antibiotic lotion, bandages and a nifty, hot pink wrap.

The anesthetic is wearing off and it is throbbing like crazy. I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep. Oh man. This is what happens when you hit the snooze button!

Peaches cooking on the stove...

Got peaches cooking on the stove, the beagle's asleep on some towels by my feet, a depressing western movie on the TV, and a terrific headache. About this time of year there is a particular weed, whose name and description I don't know, but whose smell I am quite familiar with, which gives me terrible congestion. Even with Claritin D, my head is so stuffed up I can barely stand it.





We had a nice surprise this weekend. Alex came home yesterday afternoon and stayed overnight. He headed back to Golden a couple of hours ago, but we got to take him out for a birthday lunch, a birthday movie and got him a "leather" jacket to wear riding his motorcycle. It was real pleasant. He got my chainsaw working, though it still doesn't work well. Now I can cut down the branches that need to go.





Still nauseous after a week and a half. Terrific. Can't quite figure out what that is all about. I assume it is something emotional, a response to stress or something. So I am adding some extra excersize to my schedule. I am assuming that even walking an extra block or two should do it. It can't hurt.




Tomorrow I have to do my Logic assignment. Hopefully I can find my notes, but even if I don't if shouldn't take too much time to find more flaws in logic during news-type television programs.





Well, I've been thinking about a few things lately. One, I have been wondering why we do such incredibly stupid things to mess up our lives. Observation leads me to believe that some people allow themselves to be ruled by their momentary desires and not think long-term. Also we have a bizarre expectation that we should not be unhappy--ever. How incredibly silly and vapid. How ignorant of the ways of the world both historically and in most of the world right now. We would be happier in general if we accepted suffering and disappointment as normal and not the extraordinary. Accepting that my life will have bumps and bruises and expecting that means that I am not so easily thrown by them. Accepting that my husband isn't perfect and cannot "make me happy" paradoxically makes me happier. It is the strange expectation that my husband will do all the little and big things that make me feel loved, in exactly the right way and in the right time and that he will never take his moods or problems out on me that make a person miserable. If I trust that a flawed person that loves me might say an unkind thoughtless thing on occasion or may not understand the things that drive me nuts makes it easier to love that person and deal with the inevitable disappointments.

Another Question

How do you determine whether you will travel to a distant wedding or funeral?

Just yesterday a friend of ours died out in California. We consider him a friend, and I know Steve really loved him, though it would be fair to say that his son Craig and Craig's family are our really close friends.

I am torn. I want to be there to be of whatever comfort I can be and to be there for the service. They are like family to me and it seems like you should be there for family. On the other hand, I have a review on Monday, participation grade in my other class, and a test on Wednesday. I have a paper to turn in on Monday and the only way to get credit for it is to discuss it in class.

I am also scheduled to sing on Sunday. I don't have a problem with that, as they would be quite understanding, but the school stuff is more difficult.

We were going to have Steve go, but the only flights he can get back have him coming in after 9pm and he would have to leave at 2am for a 5 hour drive to Grand Junction to begin his next project. He is too new with this company to have much flexibility with them. Were it not for the funeral, he would likely drive to GJ on Sunday afternoon to be there to begin the project on Monday morning.

In some circumstances we would say that it matters not. If it were Craig or his immediate family, we would be there no matter what. It's difficult because we really are like family.

I was unable to go to either of my in-law's funerals because of financial considerations, and that certainly is an issue to consider now as well.

I had determined that I would not be able to go, but that if it were at all possible Steve should, but by the time he gets home from the airport, he would likely only have 3 hours sleep before making a 5 hour drive and working a full day. Not a good plan.

I know our friends understand, but it tears me up not to be there for people who have always been there for us. To have your friends hurting and be unable to be with them is sooo hard.

How do you decide? Maybe you don't agonize over these decisions, but I really believe that it is important to show up for the funerals. Weddings are optional (though they're important too) but funerals are manditory. People don't need you as much when they are celebrating, but they do need to know you care when they are hurting.

It seems like so many people will do whatever they can to avoid funerals, but Proverbs says, "Better to go to a house of mourning than a house of mirth because a wise man will take it to heart." I'm not sure that is an exact quote or if it is a Kim paraphrase, but the gist of it is correct.

Tell me your thoughts.

To Secure or Not

Just a question: all things being equal, if no one could possibly access your data and your speed weren't noticeably affected, would you secure (by password or WEP key) your wireless internet or would you leave it open for any neighbor near enough to use?

I guess the argument is you pay for it, why should someone use it for free? However, if it did not affect you in any way, it doesn't cost you anything, what would they really be taking?

I have always secured my connection (not CIA secure, just ordinary security) because of some vague notion of protecting my computers from the most overt amateur hacking, but if there were a way to secure my computers while leaving the connection open, would I?

I'm not going to give you my answer, but if I get enough response, I will go ahead and post my answer then.

Gelatina Prugne e Port

Here's a tutorial on making plum jelly.

Take a mess of plums. Here I have a medium size box about 3/4 full of plums. These are a bit under-ripe, which works best for jam- and jelly-type concoctions as it has more natural pectin and firmer fruit.

Wash fruit and remove leaves, stems and cut out damaged areas.

Plums are seeded and quartered. Some don't suggest this, but experience says you get the juice more easily if you do this. Add water not to cover, but 'til you see it at least to the bottom of the top layer of fruit. Cover and cook on medium heat. Stir frequently to prevent scorching. You want to cook it until it is soft and mushy.

I then usually mash it a bit with a potato masher before going on to the next step: straining.

I was unable to find my jelly bag and holder, so this is my improvisation. I took a clean canvas bag and shortened it. Since the holder was missing, I looked around for a substitute and decided this three tier plate holder might work. In the future I will make two changes. I will redo the bag so that it is a bit shorter and so that it comes to a point in the center rather than leaving it in a rectangular shape. Additionally, I will either find a tall three wick candle holder (with the glass piece removed) or hang it from a heavy duty ceiling hook over a bowl.

As you can see, I altered the way I hung the bag to raise it higher above the pan and so that one corner hung lower enabling it to have a good drip point.

Measure the juice and figure 3/4 to 1 cup of sugar for each cup of juice. Pour the juice into a heavy bottom pot and cook over medium to medium high heat.

I am adding a splash or two of port for flavor.

In the background you may notice a small pot sterilizing the lids. What I forgot to mention is that the jars must be clean and sterilized. The heat of the dishwasher rinse and heated dry cycle work for this. (Yours should have a heated water and heated dry cycle.)

Add the juice of one small lemon or

1/2 large lemon to each quart or so of juice. You will probably need to add pectin, about a box per quart or so of juice. Bring the juice to a full rolling boil. Skim off foam. Then add the sugar all at once. Stir til all sugar is dissolved. Add a teaspoon or so of butter if you want to keep the foaming down. Bring to a rolling boil again and boil without stirring for at least five minutes. Checking sheeting (how the juice runs off the side of a spoon) or using a candy thermometer to bring the juice to about 220 degrees.

Fill prepared jars to within 1/4 inch of the rim. Seal and allow jars to cool. After nearly cool, turn lids an extra 1/4 turn. If re-using jars like babyfood jars, the lids will not seal properly, so you must use melted parafin or keep jelly in refrigerator.

(Toss the contents of the jelly bag into your compost pile and clean and boil your bag for future use.)

The finished product: YUMMY!