God's Guy

I often keep names out of my posts, changing them to protect people's privacy, but today I want to tell you about a friend of mine. Ryan is a younger man, but a man of God, the likes of which I get to meet on occasion, and am priviledged to see and to be challenged in my faith.

Ryan is a guy who is sold out to God. He has determined to hold nothing back, no matter the cost. Knowing him makes me examine my life and pray in a new way, what am I holding back? I know other men who are sold out for Christ, but there is a special fire to this man, an annointing or a special call that shines.

It is not simply to honor Ryan that I write, but to say that Ryan would never take this kind of praise, but he would turn it back to the God who saved him. And this passion for God, to follow him whatever the cost is the passion that I want to burn in every part of me, burning out the trash, incinerating the sin, leaving me purified with the holiness and righteousness that can only come from our great God and Savior.

When I consider Ryan, I often think of Keith Green, another great man of God. While today some find him hokey, they were somehow not touched by the passion for God that burned through him. He ignited a generation to follow after God with their whole hearts. Whatever Keith had was not held back from the one who saved him. If you see YouTube videos of Keith, you see a simple, scrawny guy in ratty clothes and a white mans 'fro, pounding away at the piano and preaching and prophesying in song and speech. Of all the sermons I have ever heard, Keith's sermon about Matthew 25 has stayed with me for 30 years, hearing his voice each time I read that passage, and each time it is mentioned in a sermon, I hear him declaring it with fire and passion.

What I will likely remember the most about Ryan is "bring it on." Whatever it takes to know Him more, to follow Him more, Ryan's response is "bring it on."

If you are a reader of this blog, you will know that I am rather fond of talking about God's Guys and God's Gals. These men and women, both in the Bible and those of us following after, are called by God. Often the ways of God's Guys and God's Gals involve imprisonment, poverty, illness, ridicule, long periods of defeat, giving the message God gives them only to have no one listen. They are called to a rough road, but on that road God makes himself known to them in ways that he is not known to those of us on easier pathways.

If there is anything I can do to honor men like Ryan, it is to say to my maker, "Bring it on!" So if that's what it takes to know Him, to love Him, to honor Him, to be used by Him, I say, "Bring it on!"

O, won't you join me, men and women of God? What could be better than to be held in the palm of our Father's hand while the storms rage 'round us? In our pain, he draws near. In our sorrow, we begin to understand his sorrow. In our struggles, we begin to see his struggle in Gethsemane. In his presence we find peace that makes no earthly sense. In his hands there is healing that the world cannot provide, there is an opening of wounds that we cannot even locate so that his healing waters can flow in. In this we begin to know God more fully, more deeply. We are such shallow people. We will suffer much for adventure. We will suffer much to complete a marathon or to climb tall mountains, to bench press our own weight or more, to bike that punishing trail, how much more should we be willing to suffer for the ultimate goal of knowing God and following after him.

If you want to know more about Ryan and his wife and their next adventure in following after God, please go to: http://newcitychurchkc.org/ You can support them through your prayers and through your financial support.

Before I was born

Prayer Pictures

You held me in your hands
Gently
Molded me from the clay
As potter's will do
you placed your mark on me.

You placed your thumbprint on my heart
Before I was fully formed
You shouted to the heavens with joy and delight,
"She's mine."
But gazing into my unborn face
into eyes that had never seen
and into my ears that could barely hear
your whisper, you said, "You're mine."

"She's mine."
You shouted to the hosts in heaven,
And to the people below
You said, in a quiet voice,
from which thunderclouds form,
"She's mine."

It was a declaration,
It was a clear warning,
to those who would try to hurt me.
And You spoke the promise to me,
"You're mine."

But before you were done,
You took your thumb,
And placed your mark in my heart.
The thumbprint invisible,
yet irremovable,
the mark of your eternal care
and as your thumbs gently stroked my face
and your words whispered down
with the light of love on your face
you declared your intentions.
You set your plans in place.

Where some saw a poor, broken deformed child,
You said I was perfectly formed
For you had a purpose
and you had a plan
to use me for healing and grace
and here in the secret place of my heart
the place that I thought was condemned,
when your blood washed away my sin,
the cleansing flood revealed your mark
that said I was yours from the start.

"She's mine."
You cried to the heavens,
to the ends of the sea your words rang.
"She's mine."
You cried to the princes of earth
to every one who had ears for your song
you sang your protection for me.
"She's mine."

I'm yours.
How could it be different,
when you spoke your words over me.
You said I was precious, beautiful and loved,
but the best thing that you said to me
Is I'm yours.

The Sheep and the Goats

This sermon in music and words has affected me more than any other sermon ever, and for decades now. I loved this man's heart and his passion, and today I have been thinking about his words lately because of the devastating situation one of my pastors is facing. The way he is facing it makes me think of Keith Green. I hope his words speak to you as they have to me. I am so convicted.

Update

I was reading a few posts back (and yes, I know some of you don't get my Crispin Glover video clip. If it isn't funny to you, well humor is one of those odd things that in the explaning, the intent--humor and laughter--is ruined.) Anyway, a few posts back I was struggling with the test results and believing that this pain syndrome is permanent. As I thought back, I realized that even though I have had this pain syndrome for 17+ years, the level of pain has not been consistent throughout the time. In fact, there have been periods of time that were relatively mild and which allowed me to work with fairly low pain levels and fairly high energy levels. The fish incident brought on a major flair-up, as FM people don't recover from pain and injury the same as other people.

I have, at various times, even been able to hold two jobs, or to work full-time and go to school. So, I am thinking that my current level of pain and the high levels of the virus are my bodies response to the high stress of my last job, particularly my struggles with a very difficult situation within that job and then trying to maintain the office by myself for a couple of months. I certainly began to feel the exhaustion returning during that time period.

So, dear friends, even though it is likely that I will never be pain-free in this world, I am heartened to consider that I am just currently on the pain side of the cycle and that I am likely to come back down to a manageable level in the foreseeable future.

While this gives me hope, I am glad that I cannot truly see beyond today, for my heart would fail me. Had I known what future pains I would face, I would not have had the courage to go on. We are not meant to know more than today.

I have a friend who spends most of her time lying in a bed in a nursing home. She doesn't have the strength to speak loudly enough for most people to hear her, and most people say her speech is slurred. I understand her well enough, most of the time, but I have to lean in close. I know her mind is sharp and that it is frustrating that her body won't cooperate. Her right side is useless, following a stroke, and her left eye apparently does not work any more. She faces all of this with great dignity and grace. She has taught me that God's strength is sufficient for today. I don't need to have the strength for tomorrow today. I only need the strength for today.

However...should I somehow see tomorrow, I need only know that the same God who sustains me and gives me strength and courage for today will be with me tomorrow. My Jesus, who bought me with a great price has sent me a Comforter. There is a great prayer meeting in heaven over me and over you. The Spirit interprets our prayers, even our groanings that have no words, Jesus, our Savior interceeds on our behalf with the Father, who sees only the righteousness of his Son, and even when we were unrighteous and in our wretched state, loved us enough to have sent his son. Do I understand it? Can I begin to comprehend his love? Can I comprehend the mystery of a God who calls himself one and plural at the same time? Jehovah Elohim? Adonai? That we have one God I believe. That he is three persons, Father, Jesus Christ his son, and the Spirit, I also believe. It is a mystery that I cannot understand. Praise him for his excellent greatness!

His strength is sufficient for me.

Prayer for R, C, & S

Do you ever have those times when all your words fade? There is no eloquence or long-winded speeches, no twist of phrase that can adequately pray? Today is it.

Lord, have mercy.

Have mercy, Oh Lord.

Mercy.

The state of Kim

My church, Community Church of the Rockies, is in the midst of a campaign for spiritual renewal, growth and devotion, leading up to a financial campaign. This, combined with my present circumstances are all being used by God to reveal where my faith is weak, where my sin issues are, the places where I am unfaithful, and to increase or light a fire in me with a longing for more of Him. Having no job and no job prospects makes me understand to an even greater degree that I am totally dependent on God for my provision. The health difficulties point out the ways I was trusting in my own physical strength to accomplish things and to minister to others. Being asked to commit to a more intense walk (the fasting/study/prayer time) has revealed where my walk and my discipline is weak. It has revealed areas of sin in my life that require repentance.

Truly I have nothing in myself. My righteousness is like filthy rags and cannot stand before a Holy God. I am more grateful than I have ever been that Jesus took my place and clothed me in his righteousness and because of that I can go boldly into the very throne room of God. What a wonder that his forgiveness is so thorough.

I come to him bemoaning my weakness and he laughs, saying, "I know, my child. Let me give you MY strength."

I say to him, "Forgive me of my sin." He says, "What sin? It was all washed away. I see you clothed in the righteousness of Jesus."

I say, "I am faithless." He says, "but I remain faithful. I cannot change my nature."

I come to him saying, "I'm afraid for my financial situation." He says, "Why? Don't you know that I own everything? I will not withhold any good thing from you. I will give you what you need. Don't you trust me?" And I confess that I am weak in my faith where I thought I was strong.

I go to him about my physical frailties and he says, "Those are to try you and test you, to humble you and to teach you to depend on me, that in the end it may go well with you."

I think we as a people, even as Christians, have depended on our country for our provision and our way of life. We (and by we I mean me) have held onto our wealth and largely ignored the suffering world around us, clinging to our comforts and our wants, while people are dying. Is our heart toward the poor? Toward the suffering church around the world? Is our heart even turned toward our neighbors? I begin to wonder if this time may bring us as a people and as the church in America to realize that our plans have been silly and selfish, and for the most part we have been ungrateful for what God has provided for us.

Lord, guide my days. Where my plans are out of sync with yours, make me aware, that I may go with your perfect plan. Where I have depended on anything other than you, show me, that I may repent. You are my sustainer, my hope, my provider. Your grace is sufficient for me. Show me your glory Lord, in spite of me.