Thursday, September 20, 2007


Been thinking about what it takes to reach my goals, and what those goals are.

One of my goals is to complete my degree(s). To do that I must start. Check. Work at my coursework. Check. Check.

One of my goals is to lose weight. Not just some weight, but to reduce considerably in size. One doctor said it wouldn't have much of an effect on the fibromyalgia, but I don't believe it. It seems as if anything that makes movement more difficult puts more strain on joints, muscles and ligaments, so anything you do to reduce that should help. I used to think that there was something wrong about surgical options, but I keep thinking about the scripture that says if your eye offends you pluck it out. I read that as "do whatever it takes to avoid sin." If you cannot control your eating habits on your own, and surgery is a viable alternative, go for it. I'm not there yet, but the whole food control is barely working. Just like the doctor said, it is nearly impossible.

Another goal is to finish the Timmy book. Unfortunately what I've written lately isn't sequential, so it doesn't fit online very well. I need to continue the story from the last point and post what I have missed. I really need to settle down and do this. I'm going to have to schedule this in, because it's too easy to let time go by.

Another goal, and the one that should be top priority is more time reading the Bible. More time in the Word. I do this, but in all honesty, not as much as I should. Why not? I think in part because it is a reminder of how far short of the mark I am. Am I gentle? Am I kind? Am I merciful? Do I visit the sick, the prisoner, the widow? Do I love God with my whole heart? Yet how will I change and become the person I want to be but am afraid to become? Only through the word. Reading it, meditating on it, putting it into practice. How else? Don't know.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I'm In Stitches

It's 2:22 am and I can't sleep. It has been a very long day, beginning with the first alarm at 5:30 am. A few hits on the snooze button later and I got up. I had a little more than half an hour to get ready for school, but it was enough, as I merely had to iron, get dressed and grab a breakfast drink. That is, until I realized that I hadn't printed out the paper I wrote the night before.

My laptop began having trouble. It is a recurrance of short in the power connection and I couldn't get the thing to stay on long enough to log on. I finally got that working only to find that my network wasn't working. Rather than work on that I quickly hooked up the spare printer with the USB connection.

This delay made me about 10 or 15 minutes late. Arrgh! First class. Second class. Then wait until office hours at 11:00 am to discuss arrangements for a test with enlarged print as my eyes are so bad right now. Then rushed off to a meeting to work on music for the upcoming women's retreat. Missed a turn and decided to go a different way and took a wrong turn there. Late for this appointment. It went well and I got a real treat watching six deer and one tiny rabbit in the back yard, not ten yards from the patio door.

Had a nice lunch with Ellen, complete with homemade applesauce. Really good! Then realized I was late for my next appointment, so I called the coffee shop where I was to meet Jennifer to ask them to let her know I hadn't ditched her. I showed up, she wasn't there. I waited, then decided that I had the time wrong. I waited for the next half hour point to pass, then the next and then the next, taking the time to write some more Timmy story.

Then off to school for a 5:15 pm viewing of my first speech. The speech itself was not bad, but I look like the before picture for an advertisement for gastric bypass surgery. Awful!

Then home for a bowl of baked potato soup and taking care of the dog. 7:00 pm Bible study with Judy. It was really good to catch up with her and talk about some stuff I've been going through. When I got home I took a quick minute to check email and there was one from Jennifer confirming our appointment on Wednesday(!).

At about 10, I decided to light the candles on the mantle and sit and watch some TV. At about 10:45 pm, I stood on the raised hearth to blow out the candles. After doing so, I stepped backward off the hearth and cut my foot on a 3-hole punch Steve left on the floor when he was doing some paperwork. (He's sure the dog moved it there. :-)) It bled a bit and I managed to get upstairs to clean it up and bandage it. Upon inspection, I decided it looked pretty bad and called Mom (my friendly local EMT) for a second opinion. She looked at it and took me to the ER where they shot me full of numbing agent before scrubbing the wound and putting in six stitches. They followed that with antibiotic lotion, bandages and a nifty, hot pink wrap.

The anesthetic is wearing off and it is throbbing like crazy. I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep. Oh man. This is what happens when you hit the snooze button!