Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Life Changes

Today's blog is difficult. I'm in a strange state. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally. I'm more comfortable stepping in, making decisions, making changes, fixing things. I wish I could figure out what steps to take to help my parents. Their current situation is like a never-ending drip. Like water torture. It's not the one drop of water, but the endless succession of them at varying intervals that you cannot plan on. Money is tight, the health issues never seem to resolve themselves, but are one after the other. Each day is spent in the worry of constant vigilence against the onward march of death. Even knowing that death is inevitable does not allow you to relax and simply allow death to advance and snatch dad away without a fight. Yet it is not a state like an untreatable, inoperable cancer where you are allowed to relax the vigilence and make your peace with the grim reaper. It is not the short-term death march, but like a minefield that must be negotiated daily.

Dad is uncooperative, though I think he cooperates as well as he is able. He has become demanding without realizing it. He thinks he is merely asking, but he is insistent.

Oh well, I've gotta go, something is wrong with his computer again...

1 comment:

Beth said...

So glad you are there. Praying for you today.