Okay, NOW I'm 42.

Okay, NOW I'm 42.

A couple of my friends will know what this means. Sorry for the inside communique, all hidden in cryptic remarks.

Actually, wouldn't it be fun if more of our life were written in cryptic comments only decipherable by a few "in the know" people? I have friends living in the Middle East, where the host country is hostile toward, or at least on guard against, Christianity in every form.

So as not to offend their hosts, our communiques are filled with euphemisms so as not to alert some computer censor looking for key words or phrases. Prayer might be a conversation with a mutual friend or I talked to my Dad about you, or the like. I sometimes wonder as I write if someone is going to think I am some kind of a spy speaking in code rather than just an old friend wanting to catch up.

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Well, Expeditions or Excursions is going places. I absolutely love the idea. I long to show people my favorite spots and let them meet the wonderful people who run the wonderful shops I go to, and take them off the beaten track. I plan to start this summer with a few select folks (my truck holds three maximum). The great thing about taking my truck is that if someone wants to bring back a couch, a mantle or some other large piece, as long as they can load it in the back, we can bring it home. All I need is to replace my tarp, as it disappeared. Friends, help me begin this. Be my guinea pigs, if you will. I promise it will be fun. I promise it will be an adventure! It may not be the same kind of adventure as, say, skydiving, but with these trips you won't be voiding your life insurance policy. ;-)

As summer heats up, I long to go into the cooler mountains, so those are the first trips. I want a much longer trip in September, perhaps an overnight, to go to the Colorado wine country. It could be a day trip, but I honestly get tired after a drive that long, and might have a hard time staying awake for the trip home. Call or email me to come along. I'm ready. Are you?

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Steve and I went to the Colorado Wine Festival in Manitou Springs today. If you ever wonder if Steve loves me, this is evidence. Driving around and around to find a parking space for an event that holds zero interest for him, then letting me buy three bottles of my favorite "Roadkill Red" wine (and my reason for coming to the festival), is all the evidence I need. For now, anyway. Only a few craft booths, and a few food vendors, but several wine vendors. I don't buy the $20 wine tasting ticket, which buys me a glass, a bag(I think) and a taste at each of the vendors. I don't need to taste, I know what I want, and though I am not ready to buy a case of wine (but plan to put in a wine fridge when we redo the kitchen), I buy enough to carry me through for a while. I don't drink much, and when Steve said he was buying me a year's worth, the guy next to us burst out laughing in disbelief. Well, I guess that is pretty unbelievable, but I don't drink much. The hardest part for me is opening a new bottle, knowing that I will be unable to finish it before the bottle turns, unless I find something to cook with it.

I was raised to strict abstenance, and owing to that and to not knowing who would be offended to be offered a glass, I rarely offer any to guests. Well, I rarely HAVE guests, so add rare and rare, and you have really rare. If you wouldn't be offended to be offered a glass of vino, please let me know. I'm happy to share, and I have a sparkling Muscato chilled in the fridge, waiting to be shared. My Roadkill Red is a treat, or we can pull something from the wine rack.

I think I'm going to move the wine to the laundry room for the summer, or dig a spot under the patio to keep it appropriately cool. An old root celler would be perfect. It has been close to 90 degrees for days now, and that's not good for the fruit of the vine.

Skipping church tomorrow to go to a funeral. This guy is only a few years older than Steve, Steve worked with/for him when he was first in the business in California. Bob was a friend of Steve's dad first, and then of Steve's. He was to be an employee of ours in a few weeks, and Steve was really glad he was coming on board, as he is a great worker and a real craftsman.

This has made Steve aware of the need to really plan and put into writing what to do with the business if something happens to him. Some people think it's morbid that we talk about this stuff, but to me it seems merely practical. After all, the death rate is 100%, given enough time. Expect the best, plan for the worst. My friend had to deal with her husband's troubled business within weeks of his death, against the counsel of some, she ran the business, which she truly had little understanding of, and educated herself, stepped out on a limb, not just for herself and the kids, but for the guys working there, with their livelihoods on the line. She is remarkable, and has turned the place around, going from a woman who ran a household and took care of the children, to an effective and enterprising business woman who also runs a household and cares for her children. Is there a better word than pride for what I feel for her? I am so pleased with the person she was, and with who she has become. I am delighted by her accomplishments and her courage. She is amazing. A real role model.

I have decided to ask for what I need. A small thing, you might think, but a huge thing for me. I do not like to ask, particularly when what I need is encouragement. It seems like a silly thing to need, but sometimes I just need a cheering section to give me the courage to do things that are hard for me. I don't know what is hard for other people, but for me, I am not naturally gregarious and outgoing. Real estate requires you to be more outgoing. I have to learn how to ask the questions I have in my head, and to ignore the feeling that asking any questions is prying. I need to let out my innate curiousity about people. I need to put myself at risk of rejection and relearn how to look at that. I need to learn how to think through rejection and how to talk through difficult situations.

I am going to see about either joining or forming a group of Christian Businesswomen to support each other and encourage each other in our endeavors. Perhaps there is a group out there like that, perhaps not. They need not be in sales, like me, but any woman putting herself out there, wanting to grow in her career, or needing support to live her faith in the workplace with grace and dignity. I imagine that if I need it, others do too.

Goodnight. Throw open your windows and allow the breeze to blow in the sweet aroma's of the spring flowering trees. (Take your Claritin first, if you're allergic, like me.) Enjoy the cool night air. Sweet dreams.