Scripture tells me there is only one way to become united with God, and yet none of these sham wizards are willing to tell the truth. You don't have the answers within yourself. You don't have the strength within yourself. Oh, you may have been shown some truth, you may know some of the answers, but you are not the source of truth. You know that you can lie to yourself. There are pills or lozenges that can alter your tastebuds 'til lemons taste like candy. Women convince themselves that their man will never do it again. Men convince themselves that those moments of bitchiness they see in their girlfriends are an anomaly that will go away after the wedding day.
We convince ourselves that lies are truth all the time. Even when confronted with truth, we often only accept a part of that truth. We like verses like Deuteronomy 7:9
"Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping
his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and
keep his commands."
We make plaques out of it, put it on the calendar, and meditate on it. Nothing wrong with that. But we don't make plaques out of the next verse:
"But those who hate him he will repay to their face by destruction; he will not
be slow to repay to their face those who hate him."
We don't like to look at the fullness of God. He is both great and terrible. He is both gentle and wild, loving and just. Even as his mercy is adored, we don't like to face the fact of his wrath.
I don't like to look at it either. I don't understand the fullness of God. I'm still that little kid running into daddy's throne room with my hurts and fears, climbing into the lap of the Almighty, not understanding his glory or the weight of his majesty. When the curtain is pulled back on God, there is no sham pretense, making us believe he is doing things that we have done for ourselves. We will see glory and holiness that cannot help but throw us to our knees in worship.
If I hide myself from his glory and his greatness, chosing only to see the sweet, fuzzy, loveable grandfather or daddy that I want, I miss so much of who my daddy is. In that I also miss part of who he has made me to be. I fail to be grateful for him bringing such a sinfull soul into his presence; I fail to understand the wonder of what Jesus the Messiah did for me in making me acceptable in the sight of God and allowing me to come boldly to the throne as his child.
O God, make me more aware of the awfulness and terrible weight of your righteousness and holiness. Make me more aware of the price you paid for me and make me ever more grateful for the price you paid for me. Make me ever more aware of the fullness of yourself. Oh, let me know you more. You are a gracious and forgiving God to allow me to run in without a true understanding of your nature, of your glory and majesty. I am humbled and exalted in your presence. You have my heart and my worship. You deserve every bit and every moment. Forgive me for my whining when things don't go my way and when things get hard. Why should I long for a road that is so much easier than the one you have set for me?