If Jesus Was a Jerk

If Jesus was a jerk (like me) we'd be best buds. I mean who doesn't like to sit at the mall and mock people who are walking by? The woman whose clothes fit 20 or 30 pound ago, the one with hair standing 6 inches above her head, the guy trying so desperately to look like a girly man or a manly girl with his manliner and skin-tight skinny jeans, the 50 year old woman dressing like she's Brittany Spears. Who doesn't love a good mocking-others session?

Ummm. Perhaps Jesus wouldn't enjoy it.

If Jesus was a jerk (like me) he would make us all laugh with sarcastic comments.

Ummm. He seemed to have saved his sarcasm for the self-righteous religious leaders.

If Jesus was a jerk (like me) he would be so concerned with how his feelings got hurt when they spit on him, or falsely arrested him, or held an illegal trial, or whipped him, or drove spikes through his hands and feet or the thorns through his scalp that he would have torn them apart with a word, with a flick of his finger or with merely a thought which blew their bodies apart (which he was holding together, by the way) or he would have called the armies of heaven to obliterate them in the most painful way possible.

If Jesus was a jerk (like me) he would be upset when we don't give him the praise that is his due, or thank him for all the things he does, like holding us together and giving us life and breath, as an example. He would want his accolades, his award ceremonies, a gold star on his report card. He certainly wouldn't spend three years! with guys who were so thick they didn't understand who he was and what that meant. He would find people a little quicker to understand his greatness and majesty. If he was like me.

Oh if only I would grasp his infinite greatness and the wonder of his incomparable gift. Perhaps then I would be better able to love people who can't pick the "right" shoes to go with their outfits, or who don't appreciate me, who hurt me with unkind words or deeds. Perhaps I would forgive graciously, perhaps I would serve unselfishly, perhaps I would use kinder words, if only I weren't a jerk like me.