Sunday, July 02, 2006

Three Days

Grandma always said that three days was long enough for anyone to visit. You've said everything there is to say, you've seen everybody, now it's time to go before everyone get's tired of each other. 14 days with Mom and Dad hasn't made us tire of each other, but it does make one tired of the disruption of schedule, of different foods, of sleeping on air mattresses (although that is surprisingly comfortable), of being away from family, away from my dogs, my church, my garden. It hasn't been long enough that Walmart seems like a good outing...yet.

It has been long enough that I will once again really long for water once I'm gone, rivers, the ocean, lakes. I have to finish my pond and waterfall. There is something so restful and healing and necessary about water. Pounding, fushing, falling, rippling, running water. Water. It's not just for drinking anymore. Or something like that.

I would not have had to come here to long for my mom and my dad. Heck, my granddad died in February of 1982 and I still miss him. A picture of him will still put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. But we buck up and get on with the business of living. Some days the pain, grief and troubles of life threaten to overwhelm, but we know that there is no new trouble under the sun, and we know that life continues. Somehow we go on after the worst of trouble. We know that those who have gone before us have always done so, how can we do less?

For some reason, the listings of generations in the Bible has been of comfort and strength for me lately. In Genesis it lists the men in the direct line of Abraham and Isaac. This list goes on and on. Adam, Seth, Enos, Cainan, Mahalaleel, etc., etc. Somehow all of those living, having children and dying reinforces to me that this is the cycle of life since the fall. Nothing that is happening here is unique (except that it is happening to ME, of course). It is not out of the experience of mankind. That gives me comfort that no matter how overwhelming the grief, and how great the pain, it can be endured, and it will wane. Life will continue.

I still hope that Mom and Dad decide to move near family while it is still a possibility. Mom needs it, and honestly, I think Dad would appreciate it, even though he doesn't want to need anyone. can WANT to be around family even if you don't NEED it, right?

As with every time I fly, I can't sleep tonight, even though I lost sleep last night and don't have to be at the airport 'til 2 pm. Grrr. going to bed now.

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