Sunday, February 03, 2008

Which dog am I?

Something about my new dog, Bear, has been gnawing at me lately. Over time it has become apparent that this dog, a yellow lab mix does not seem to be developing any real kind of attachment to me, not in the same way as Barney, who had to be euthanized last summer. Barney adored me. He wanted to be with me all the time—not because I did anything for him in particular, but simply because he wanted to be with me. He loved being in my presence.

Bear wants something from me almost every minute I am with him. I can almost hear his thoughts:
Ball. Ball. Ball. Ball. Throw the ball. Where’s my
ball? Ball. The Ball. Want the ball. Throw the ball.
BALL! BALL! BALL! Get my ball. Throw my ball.
Ball. Ball. Ball. THE BALL! I WANT THE BALL!

I think he would go off with anyone without a backward glance if only they had a ball.

This has been a grave disappointment to me. I miss the adoration and love I got from my Barney. Bear is a good dog. There’s nothing really wrong with him, he’s not nervous or mean, is not a biter, doesn’t beg, doesn’t tear things up…he just doesn’t display the kind of affection for me that I long for.

As I’ve pondered this, I’ve wondered if that isn’t how we are with God. He longs for a friendship, for the loving adoration of his people, but so often we just want something from him. We don’t want to spend time in his presence because we love and adore him, because we worship him, but because he has the ball, whatever that looks like for us. Do we weary him with our impatient, whining requests for the object of our longing? Or does he provide us good things anyway, but have a sadness in his heart, a longing, for our adoration?

I’ve just been thinking….

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

that was an excellent point. He tells us to come to Him for everything, but I have to agree...if I feel a longing for more time with someone, rather than hearing his/her demands, then He's got to be feeling something similar to that longing. What does it mean to be in His presence? What is that really like? How do we achieve that when there are so many demands in our daily lives pulling us in different directions? I'd rather be in His presence 24/7, but then, wouldn't I be in Heaven? That will be the ultimate celebration for our Father in Heaven, when we are all there with more tears, no more distractions to keep us from being in His presence. I wonder if a part of Him will always miss those who choose not to believe, who choose not to be with Him for eternity. I wonder if He will miss them for an eternity.

your friend, Dee