Monday, May 01, 2006

Stand Up Comedy

Well, I signed up to do stand-up comedy at a church function. Don't know how that'll go. People seem to think I'm funny, but sarcasm and dry humor may work better one on one, than playing to a crowd.

I think lots of things are funny, so maybe if I just talk about the things that amuse me, perhaps it will tickle other people too.

Like the differences between men and women. I would guess that there's not a straight man in America that understands cucumber sandwiches that women serve at their teas. In fact, teas are a strictly female phenomena in this country. You never see a flyer for a men's group at church getting together for a "tea".

Another thing men don't do on their own is salad. I once attended a construction cookout put together by men for men. It consisted of the men basics. Meat, sugar, salt. They would have had beer had it not been in the middle of a workday. So there were burgers, chips and cake. No fruit salad, no pasta salad, no deviled eggs or jello salad. That's what women bring.

On the other hand, there are things that men do that women will never understand. I mean, I like football. I love watching the Broncos. I watch the playoffs and the Superbowl. I don't watch the draft. I don't watch the NFC and AFC games to better predict who will make the playoffs and how my team will fare against them. And I really don't understand watching college ball so that you can determine who would be best for your team to pick up in the draft. I suspect that few other women get that.

I don't understand how you can get through life with three pair of shoes. I might wear three different pairs of shoes in a single day! I don't understand how you can roll out of bed and leave the house within 5 minutes. I don't understand what's hard about buying tampons. It's not as if the guy behind the counter thinks they're for you!

How is it that guys look in the mirror and always seem to see a handsome suave guy standing there? Do you know that women, in general, know the minute the first wrinkle appears? I remember staring in horror at my first wrinkle for at least half an hour. Half an hour pulling and checking, trying to wish it away. Why is it that men always think they look so good?

Then there's family and church to discuss. I guess I could go on for a while.

1 comment:

Beth said...

You may not watch NFC & AFC games but you at least know such things exist, which puts you in a different league from most of us.

I think this one is LOL funny, especially the bit about salads - so true! When Mitch cooks, that means we get an entree. Lately he's started adding a vegetable but that thought did not occur naturally. It was put there with great effort and repetition.