Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Letting Go of Self

Well, just got back from Bible Study a while ago. Just discussing with other women how the whole paint thing makes me feel got me thinking. Do I want to make a big issue out of this? Some people find red a very angry color. It increases their agitation rather than energizes them. Steve has enough agitation and aggravation without coming home to it. It's tough running a business.

For his sake I need to give it up. I need to let go of my anger and my hurt feelings and do something constructive. After all, he is more important than paint. The day may come when I can do whatever I want in the house, turquoise ceilings with chartreuse walls, have 4 dogs shedding all over everything and tearing up the furniture, whatever. When that day comes I would be ashamed to have made a fuss about red walls. This house needs to be HIS sanctuary too. If that means that he has a say in what happens here, that's fine.

Perhaps we both need to learn not to dismiss what the other says or wants without really listening and thinking about it. There are some things that can't be compromised. Paint isn't one of them. So if you hear me grousing about repainting, remind me that People are more important than paint.

Good night.

1 comment:

Beth said...

Well, good, I'm glad you're processing the whole thing. When I meant standing up for yourself more, I didn't mean specifically the color - you're absolutely right it's Steve's sanctuary too, what I meant was the feeling of not being dismissed.